Carolyn Hax: His girlfriend and friend don’t see eye to eye (and he has blinders on)

Read online

Advice to help you tackle life's problems.

(Nick Galifianakis for The Post)

His girlfriend and friend don't see eye to eye (and he has blinders on)

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Sept. 21 and Oct. 14, 2005.

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend of two years and my roommate, an old buddy from high school, don't get along. He probably falls within the fat part of the bell curve for single-guy behavior — which means he cusses, gambles and, occasionally, brings girls back to the house. She is a sweet, small-town girl, and doesn't make an effort to disguise her disgust for his lifestyle; he doesn't really tone down his "guy's guy" persona when she's around. I keep them separated, but she isn't satisfied, having repeatedly told me he is a bad person and she doesn't want me to be friends with him at all.

But he's an old friend and a decent guy. She and I are dating seriously, so my relationship with him is pretty limited already. But now, since I have refused to make some sort of official declaration that he's no longer my friend, she is ramping up her demands on my time, because she sees any time away from her as potential time I could be spending with him.

I don't know what to do. I am really troubled by her willingness to make demands like this in the first place. And I'm pretty unimpressed with my friend's behavior toward this woman for whom I clearly care so deeply.

— Reluctant Referee

Read Carolyn's Response